Why Men Don't Talk Feelings

Updated: May 22, 2020

As men, we’re taught from an early age that “boys don’t cry.” Whether it’s a scraped knee or even the death of a loved one, we are instilled with the notion that to express our feelings is a sign of weakness. Though this stereotype has been slowly breaking down over time, it’s still prevalent in our society.

Boys are more emotionally expressive than girls

According to research from Harvard Medical School, boys are naturally more expressive than girls, beginning from early infancy. But because they grow up in a world that encourages them to hide or ignore their emotions, this can lead to long-term consequences such as addiction, violence, and depression. By not allowing males to experience their full range of emotions, they are being told not to be themselves. In the long-run, this means as men, we lose the ability to regulate our emotions, to deal with them in a healthy way because weren’t allowed to practice methods of doing so growing up. Need proof? More than six million men suffer from depression in the United States, and around 18 million American adults suffer have an anxiety disorder. And chances are if you’re reading this, you have trouble expressing your emotions in a healthy way as well.

What ignoring your feelings can do to you

Ignoring your feelings for long periods of time can lead to a number of mental and physical health conditions. Depression is one of the most common. Men experience depressive symptoms differently than women. Some of the signs you might be experiencing depression are:

● Fatigue

● Withdrawing from family and friends

● Chronic physical pain, back pain

● Eating disorder

● Erectile dysfunction

● Inability to do daily chores or activities

● Showing rage and anger on the outside but feeling sad or angry on the inside

● Increased irritability or grumpiness